


that's not technically a sin, no, neither is ... that.

by Lottie_Summons



Category: CrankGameplays - Fandom
Genre: I got a gift, Other, i dunno man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:35:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29342916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lottie_Summons/pseuds/Lottie_Summons
Summary: Inspired by"Mrs. Thomson was once arrested for murder. They never really could prove that those scones were what killed that guy, so they let her go. Yan was ecstatic when she found out, and they immediately started asking Mrs. Thomson how she got away with it. She said, 'They wouldn’t jail an elderly lady, dear. Especially not one that can cook so well.' "andChapter 9: "he f*cking g l o w e d" of  "Oh God Oh F*ck the Egos Have Cellphones"
Relationships: None?
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	that's not technically a sin, no, neither is ... that.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [intellexual_asexual](https://archiveofourown.org/users/intellexual_asexual/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Oh God Oh Fuck the Egos Have Cellphones](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29131707) by [intellexual_asexual](https://archiveofourown.org/users/intellexual_asexual/pseuds/intellexual_asexual). 



> you cannot be kind to me without retaliation

When Father Ethan set up his own little confessional booth in his room, he didn’t expect it to be so… busy. Bernice had been the one to suggest he set one up, though he wasn’t sure if it was because she feared for their souls, or was just done with listening to them. Either way, he’d barely had time to tell the other crank egos before Unus’ hand shot up like a rocket, “Me first!” 

To say it had been interesting would be an understatement. It was less Unus confessing to sins and more him asking what was and was not a sin. Drinking pee for instance, not a sin, but probably not too good for you either. Insurance fraud, illegal, but ultimately not a sin. And the list went on. 

An hour and a half into the session and Father Ethan was pleasantly surprised that while Unus seemed to have a knack for the unconventional, was not in fact a sinner in need of saving. It was always nice when you had confessions like that, it showed good promise for the child’s future. Until they got to what Father Ethan had thought to be the end of the session, when Unus had been quite for a few moments, until the veil of peace was shattered by a very sudden, “Is murder a sin?”

Father Ethan blanched. “Yes … have you murdered?”

Silence.

More silence.

“Nah, just wondering”

The sigh of relief Unus heard that day, it could have blown over a brick wall.

———

Not ten minutes after Unus left, and Mike had tentatively entered the room.

“So… is like… selling drugs… a sin?”Father Ethan hummed in response, “Are you hurting anyone?”  
“Uh, I guess not?”“What about yourself?”“Nope”“Then, and some may say different, I’d say in your case God forgives you”

“Woah really? awesome!”

———

A few more came in throughout the day, Heapass seeming to have benefitting the most, and Father Ethan was just about to shut his door when-

“Do you have time for one more dear?”Mrs.Thomson came in, a dark purple shawl over her, and her cane by her side. Must be a bad hip day, Father Ethan thinks, he doesn’t think she had it yesterday. 

“Of course, come on in”

Mrs.Thomson sat down, “Well I guess I’ll get right to the meat of it then”

Was he expecting a full memoir of love and betrayal and heartbreak and murder, topped with drugs and psychedelics? No. No he was not. 

———

Surprisingly, he kept the booth going. That was, until the ipliers found out about it. Was it a requirement as an iplier to be a murderer?


End file.
